I’m down. Not in that old-school way where one knows what’s hip, what’s hot, what’s happening. I could only wish! No, my down involves lots of staring at screens, a constant feeling of dread and awkwardness. Lots of awkwardness.
And my words seem to disappear when my mood ebbs. What’s up with that? It’s not only seen in the lack of posts here, but out in real life. I’ve become a monosyllabic bore. I don’t know what to say to anyone about anything and that just makes me feel worse. (On the other hand: I had a victory the other day when I sent Jesse a two paragraph e-mail about his upcoming move. Progress? I hope so.)
Please note: I’ve already been to the psychiatrist to let him know of this recent development. I will be going back, as his solution is not helping. Please also note: I don’t say this because I want sympathy. That’s why I avoid talking about my mood until a low point rears its ugly head.
So don’t worry about me, okay? I have plenty of good things coming up on the horizon. I just would like to be able to relax and enjoy them.